Life is Sweet

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The photo is poor quality. But the life in it is sweet.

My friend and companion, to whom I thought I’d have to say goodbye by Christmas, has survived to see the dismantling of the season. She has outlived her prognosis and I have learned how to live with joy in the face of death.

When I first heard that she was dying of cancer, I was so grieved I didn’t know how I’d get through it. My dog is my best friend and home companion. My partner. And I felt ridiculous in the midst of crying, when there she was! Panting and begging for food, very alive! Why cry?

I have learned this aspect of grief: I can ignore what’s coming. I can simply not think about it. I would call it denial, but I know she’s dying; I make sure she gets her pain meds. I just refuse to consider the loss of her while she’s alive. I don’t pretend it’s not happening, and yet I do. Is there a word for this? I don’t know.

I do know “be here now” and “now” is very sweet.

Why cry?

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