Limitations

I feel blocked. I feel uninspired. Or maybe derailed.

I want to write. Yet I get sidetracked by my own ego. I started a blog with the intention of writing more, and to a degree, this has helped. I do write more.

But I also pay too much attention to the stats page. There is a social aspect to blogging that I didn’t see coming. Now it matters to me whether or not someone’s reading my blog. And then the self consciousness sets in. I forget what it is I wanted to do in the first place. I read about blogging, and how to improve your views, gain followers. Reach out to others, start a conversation, generate interest. And I’m lost in my ego again. Self-worth from a stats page.

After a few months I set up a blogging schedule. I assigned a topic and style for each day of the week. I gave myself themes for each month as well. It was all laid out. All planned.

Easy, right?

Then the resistance crept in. Instead of being excited to write and post, I felt stymied. Today I feel like writing but I had scheduled a photo. Yesterday I felt wordless, but had planned philosophical ranting. I became my own authority to rebel against and jumped right into it.

I got sick. I gave myself permission to take time off to heal. Then permission to skip a day if I didn’t feel inspired. Then I questioned the whole point of blogging.

When it gets down to it, I want to write. Despite my limits and lack of experience and practice and skill. And I do want you to read it. If I know you’re reading it I will at least try to edit a touch. Make a little sense. Maybe.

So today’s post is an exercise in pushing past my resistance. To write despite myself. Fuck the schedule.

We’ll see how tomorrow goes.

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10 thoughts on “Limitations

  1. Chrissy Layton

    Yah, it turns out reading other people’s blogs has become my new “I should be writing” procrastination. But when you want to write, WRITE DAMMIT! Fuck the schedule indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That stats page is a real bitch, and I’ve only been here for like a week, which is nothing. It’s easy for me to say, “Hey, just ignore that thing.” But it’s like that rash that keeps popping up, and you just have to scratch it.

    So… Fuck it and write.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Tear up that schedule. Set smaller goals. I’ve been ignoring the Stats page since WordPress revamped. I now only take part in the Daily Prompt challenges if they interest me. Write something every day – even if you don’t post it on here.

    Liked by 1 person

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