Another Non-door Door

Once again, in response to Norm’s Thursday Doors I am posting something not quite door. I don’t mean to be a rebel, but this doorway evokes the feeling I’ve been experiencing this last week:

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Two weeks ago I came down with some kinda virus. It brought my little world to a halt. My life narrowed to this bug-fight, and everything else fell to the wayside: work, friends, art, and, of course, blogging. I didn’t even read blogs.

But now I emerge victorious, squinting in the light of day, stumbling out of my illness-induced cave.

Thursday Doors are the best – check out more here.

Until Then…

My posts of late have been sporadic.

I have just lost my companion of fourteen years, my beloved dog, and my motivation has flagged.

setta warmth

I’m heading out of town, without my computer, without the internet.

But I will take a camera (of sorts) and I will return.

And tell you all about it.

Soonish.

Thank you all for reading, following and sharing this blogging world with me…

Turning Point?

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Today’s Daily Prompt asks which season do I most look forward to and which is my least favorite. I like all the seasons, generally, but I’ll tell you my least favorite…the one I’m in right now: my season of discontent!

Wallowing in blogger’s block for days (too many), fighting a summer cold (why it’s even possible to catch a cold in summer is just stupid), I crave inspiration.

This too shall pass, and perhaps quickly, because tomorrow I get to fly somewhere. That always gets me going…and I’ll take you along.

To see more responses from today’s prompt, Turn, Turn, Turn click here.

Revamp 1

Content is King, yes, but sometimes it’s nice to redecorate the castle, eh?

Welcome to my redesign. (Feedback is encouraged and welcome!)

It’s been a solid six months since I started this blog, and I’ve had a great time learning and exploring this new world. I am delighted at the connections I’ve made and will make with people all over the world. I am grateful for every “like,” every “follow,” and every new friend! My previous design felt cozy and warm – well suited to the season it was created. With the return of the sun and the joy in my heart, I am ready to fling wide the windows and expand the conversation.

I still am unsure what this blog is, or will become, but I am committed to further, wider explorations of my world and to sharing my quirky vision with you.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for sharing your world with me as well.

Limitations

I feel blocked. I feel uninspired. Or maybe derailed.

I want to write. Yet I get sidetracked by my own ego. I started a blog with the intention of writing more, and to a degree, this has helped. I do write more.

But I also pay too much attention to the stats page. There is a social aspect to blogging that I didn’t see coming. Now it matters to me whether or not someone’s reading my blog. And then the self consciousness sets in. I forget what it is I wanted to do in the first place. I read about blogging, and how to improve your views, gain followers. Reach out to others, start a conversation, generate interest. And I’m lost in my ego again. Self-worth from a stats page.

After a few months I set up a blogging schedule. I assigned a topic and style for each day of the week. I gave myself themes for each month as well. It was all laid out. All planned.

Easy, right?

Then the resistance crept in. Instead of being excited to write and post, I felt stymied. Today I feel like writing but I had scheduled a photo. Yesterday I felt wordless, but had planned philosophical ranting. I became my own authority to rebel against and jumped right into it.

I got sick. I gave myself permission to take time off to heal. Then permission to skip a day if I didn’t feel inspired. Then I questioned the whole point of blogging.

When it gets down to it, I want to write. Despite my limits and lack of experience and practice and skill. And I do want you to read it. If I know you’re reading it I will at least try to edit a touch. Make a little sense. Maybe.

So today’s post is an exercise in pushing past my resistance. To write despite myself. Fuck the schedule.

We’ll see how tomorrow goes.

Short-lived Resolutions

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I am sinking into the couch as I write this. Whatever virus thought my body might make a fine new home is discovering my fierce immune system.

That’s a great thing.

But it does make it harder to live up to my own baby-blogger expectations. Not that I blog about babies. Maybe I should? I think a fever is kicking in.

Anyway, I took Blogging 101. It’s a great way to start figuring out what this whole blogging thing is about. And I got this idea of setting goals for myself – I’m gonna post EVERY DAY!! YES!!….And then I think, “Hey, set up a calendar, a schedule for this blog thing, so I’ll always know what I’m gonna post.” Hahahaha.

OK. So now I’m melting into the couch, and when I should be focused on fighting this virus, what am I doing? Fighting guilt. Fighting the urge to post, and losing (apparently).

It’s all part of the New Year celebration – setting up resolutions and goals and whatnot so that I can schedule my fun right out of existence.

So I’m writing this silly little post to say “Hello,” “Ack! I think I’m getting sick!”, and “I love that you read my blog – Thank you!!”

Oh yeah….and “I’m gonna take a few days away from the computer.”

I must not peek at the stats

I must not peek at the stats

I must not peek at the stats!

Just go lay down!

Image: “Poor Thea” by HunterxColleen

It’s all New

In response to today’s Daily Post: Recently Acquired

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I started blogging recently in October. I knew nothing about blogging. I went from completely unaware of the blogosphere to a citizen of it. So there are many things I find interesting, as the prompt asks, and almost everything is unexpected. What I think is important changes on a weekly basis.

Amidst all this novelty, there is an outstanding feature for me: the stat map. With it I recognize my place in an international community of readers, writers, photographers and thinkers.

So thank you all for reading my words, for viewing my photos, for following me and accepting me so graciously into your community, our community.

Future Tripping

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At the airport I sit in the early morning sun shrouded in thin clouds that lend a milky tone to the light. I’m early for my flight. Too early. At 3 am I woke to pee and spent unknown time fretting over my packing. Oh no! I forgot to pack a hat! What if I forget when I wake up to pack the forgotten hat? And I’m sure I didn’t pack enough clothes for the weather. I should pack this or that more. But then there will be less room! I need to practice with less and keep room for souvenirs.

On and on such ridiculous thoughts disturbing my rest. A hat? For pete’s sake!

But I slept again and I woke again just seconds before the early alarm went off. A hat! Don’t forget the hat. Oh bother.

I had set the alarm extra early so that I wouldn’t run out of time and have to rush around. Yet I found that I was too sleepy to move even at my normal pace. The shirt I meant to wear on the plane turned up stained. I began to question the entire mini-wardrobe I’d packed the day before. My daughter says, “You don’t have time to change your clothes.” Sure I do. But not enough time to change AND eat breakfast. So I decide to eat at the airport and continue to fuss.

And then wait. It’s too early to leave and too late to make breakfast. I wait and think of food: scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, hashbrowns, coffee….more coffee. Bleary eyed I look at the clock and decide to leave early anyway. I’m hungry.

At the airport the crowds I’d imagined heading out for the Thanksgiving holiday are non-existent. I am the only traveler checking in at the counter. The only traveler going through security. I’m now even earlier for my flight as if time is moving backwards. Then I learn the bad news.

The restaurant won’t open until a half hour after my flight leaves.

What?!

No eggs? No toast?…….No bacon?

There is a coffee stand though, and I grab a mocha and a scone. As as I wait for the coffee to kick in I remind myself that I love to travel. Really I do. Or perhaps I love to THINK about traveling, tell stories of traveling, plan travels.

The process, however, is much messier.

I realize that this little trip to visit family in a neighboring state is not what has me all worked up. I have a trip planned four months from now to Portugal, and I keep pretending I’m starting THAT one. I’m so excited for this little trip, my heart explodes when I think of the bigger one. I’m sure that I’ll get no sleep the night before, fret over packing for days, and generally spazz out.

It’s gonna be great.